just BOOM!

.

I feel for you. I understand in all of the 26 second, 27 second, 33 second and 1 minute long phone calls about nothing. I heard it in your voice I could tell there was something but I was scared of you. Now I think your lost. You had a future but something went wrong now your all wrong and I blame myself once again. If I wouldve texted you when I wanted to this wouldnt have happened, because now your alone. Its even worse that I couldve done this, said that and now your gone.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I pray you dont do anything crazy, unless I see you one last time. I dont know if this was ever love but I know if anything were to happen I would put everything aside. And through everything I never thought I could feel this way, the way you always used to make me feel. Coming to that realization is making me think, what am I doing? This is probably nothing, this is just a moment that all humans have, its apart of the growing up process but what if its not? What if theres something deeper than all my what if’s; I already what if’d this last week and look where I’m at now awake blogging about you for I don’t know what reason. I’m not even worried anymore, I’m mad. I’m mad that this was/has never been resolved but subtly looked over, then when all this happens I feel like this. Knowing you 9 times out of 10 I’m the last on yours but your the first on mine. Its the part of life I’m used to, well not really because I hate it but what can I do? Sleep on it, pray for the worry to disappear, and have a great day at work. #moneyisthemotive #ambitiousgirl #yolo…#ICAREMORETHANANYONEWILLEVERKNOWORSEEBUTIWILLNEVERLETANYONEHURTMETHISISJUSTABOUTENOUGHJUSTLETMEKNOWTHEENDSOICANSLEEPINPEACE